Two a days

I never played football, so the term "two a day" doesn't make me cringe like it might make some ex-football players do. To me, it just means doing something twice in one day, like eating 2 cheese burgers instead of one, or drinking two beers per NFL game yesterday (admittedly that turns into more of a 12 a day, but after 3 games you stop counting). In baseball terms, it means putting the new country music sensation "Clay and Jon" on the hill for a Sunday double header and reminding the Rays that 2007 was indeed a fluke. The Sox outscored the Rays 16-2 this weekend. In short, they handed Sir Spits-a-lot and Big Game James their respective taints, and their 11th loss in a row, and are now enjoying a well deserved Monday off.

Of course an off day means we'll come up with something stupid that we find funny, and a lot of you find stupid. If you aren't used that yet, please check out some older posts and get re-acquainted with our funny.

A win is a win

A 6 inning win is a 6 inning win too. Beckett looked ready to beat down the Rays all night but the mighty rain Gods only let it go 6. To make things even better, the deadly M's took care of the Rangers which makes the Sox 3 up in the honorable wild card race.

Is it just me, or does the wild card feel dirty? Obviously it worked some magic in 04, but after taking the division in '07 the WC feels, well, like 2nd best, which I guess it is. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but apparently I am. It was easier to accept the Rays taking the division, but now with the Yanks approaching a 100 win season (which the Sox haven't had since Teddy Ballgame) it just further drives home the point that the Sox are the 2nd best team out there and there's a good margin between the 2.

What would help me is 2 wins today and a tighter grab around the nuts of the WC. Yup, that will do alright by me.

Quick Question

Q: How loud can you listen to AC/DC while driving to work on a Friday morning?

A: Louder than you are.

Sure, it's kind of a trick question, but it's true. There are no limits on music volume on a Friday morning which includes "Thunderstruck". Short week, Friday is here already, the Sox are at home facing the Rays instead of stuck in that hollowed out grapefruit down in Florida AND the Rays are headed in a downward motion faster than half the patrons at an A-rod slumber party. Great time to get some space in that wild card lead and give the home town crowd something to cheer about in the 2nd to last regular season homestand. Gimme a few W's this weekend, maybe the Rangers run into some tough luck and the boys can start thinking October.

Why I dislike the Rays

Remember the movie The Rookie? Think more Quaid, less Sheen. The part that really made me start disliking the Rays before they did that whole '08 thing was that scene where the main character walks into the Rays clubhouse for the first time and sees the "treasured history" of his fellow Rays hanging in jersey form in the likes of Fred McGriff, Jose Canseco and Wade Boggs. Sorry but those guys didn't exactly bleed purple and teal or whatever the Ray's lame ass colors are. Baseball inaccuracies in movies really tick me off. I won't even bore you with my take on that Brandon Fraiser crapfest "The Scout" or how the hell anyone is supposed to believe that Freddy Prinze Jr. can 1, throw that fast or 2, land Jessica Biel on his best day. Summer Catch my ass.

Also, how did Brad Penny land that? He definitely didn't impress her with his pitching skills. At first the portly bastard was serviceable, but now he's starting to lose that initial fat guy swagger he arrived here with. At leas we have Smoltz starting tonight against the first place Yanks??? Oh man.

Garza leaks

A painful loss by the Sox last night, losing in the 13th on a Longoria dinger. Props to Delcarmen and Double R (Ramon Ramirez) for getting out of some big jams in the late innings, but to no avail. However the most painful part of last night's game was watching Matt Garza on the hill. Not necessarily for his pitching prowess, but witnessing his spitting fits. He is in loogie mode the entire time, drenching the mound with saliva every 5-10 seconds. Was Lester going out there every half inning to be welcomed by a mud pit? And is this disgusting habit something that Garza carries with him off the field? His dentist must love him.

More Trop ball tonight before the Sox head to the most expensive stadium in all the land for 4 big ones.

You see, you see, he's not a machine, he's a man!!

Danny Bard is only a man. Up until last night we all may have thought different. A few walks, a home run and a throwing error (that could have lead to even more runs) proved that Danny Boy isn't made of iron, just blood and guts and poop you like and I. Well, that's what is inside me at least. The Rays, who looked like they might flounder (fish joke) away earlier this season after last years amazing run, seem determined to stick (fish stick, fish joke?) around and spoil a perfectly good Tuesday night.

That's alright, tonight Penny is on the mound. Doesn't have the same ring as "Josh Beckett is examining his ear-necklace wondering where to put tonight's victims' ear." but it's what we have right now folks.