Paging Soul Asylum

Runaway Train anyone? Thank you 1990's grunge, and thank you Texas Rangers for stealing 9 (nine, as in the number after 8, before 10) bases SO FAR in the game tonight. 5 in one inning. At Fenway. Are you f*cking kidding me? I know it's Wake pitching and V-Mart's arm is making Johnny Damon's look like a .22 caliber rifle, but come f*cking on?!?! Do you know what 9 stolen bases looks like in the scorer's box? Like this:

SB - E Andrus 3 (4, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), V Guerrero 2 (3, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), N Cruz 3 (3, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), J Borbon (2, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez).

Also, Ortiz .146, JD Drew .137. Ellsbury and Cameron to the DL. I do believe a beer or 12 are in order right now.