Paging Soul Asylum

Runaway Train anyone? Thank you 1990's grunge, and thank you Texas Rangers for stealing 9 (nine, as in the number after 8, before 10) bases SO FAR in the game tonight. 5 in one inning. At Fenway. Are you f*cking kidding me? I know it's Wake pitching and V-Mart's arm is making Johnny Damon's look like a .22 caliber rifle, but come f*cking on?!?! Do you know what 9 stolen bases looks like in the scorer's box? Like this:

SB - E Andrus 3 (4, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), V Guerrero 2 (3, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), N Cruz 3 (3, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez, 3rd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez), J Borbon (2, 2nd base off T Wakefield/V Martinez).

Also, Ortiz .146, JD Drew .137. Ellsbury and Cameron to the DL. I do believe a beer or 12 are in order right now.

Tim Wakefield has something to tell you

Tim Wakefield wants to start. Tim Wakefield thinks he deserves it because he's put in the man hours beyond anyone else in the entire universe. Are you going to tell a guy that most likely has a dozen of those killing things hanging up in his "game room" that he is the odd man out? That he has yet again been given the short stick? That he's too old/weak/injury prone/full of bloodlust to be given the ball every 5 days? I'm not going to tell him. Feel free though. I heard he's at home... cleaning some sharp things in his game room.