In the Battle of the Hot Girlfriends

Last Night's Battle Royale Featuring:

The Girlfriend of Clay Buchholz

vs.

Greinke's Girl

There is now way two nerdier looking guys could land hotter chicks unless... actually, there is no "unless". Those two guys look like they should be working at Office Max rather than professional athletes and I'm sure their respective girls are into them for their knowledge of laptops and burritos, respectively, and not because of their giant paychecks.

I'm not sure what to think about the last few games against KC. The Sox were riding so high after Philly and TB and this was about the worst way they could have possibly come down from that short of anyone winding up in a dumpster behind a BBQ joint. Maybe they wrap up the series with a win today? Maybe no one shows up because it's memorial day weekend and everyone is too busy attending cookouts? Maybe I'll actually get a chance to sit down and watch a game this weekend instead of being busy attending all those cookouts? Or maybe just knocking back a few more Sam Summers will keep me from asking "maybe" about everything.

"FINAL"ly

Celtics ended the roller coaster ride last night and closed out those softies from Florida. Another trip to the NBA Finals, which I think start sometime in August. Should be fun.

Meanwhile, the Sox lost to Missouri little leaguers.

My Definition of WHIP

I'm about to get all statty on yo' asses.

WHIP = Walks+Hits per Innings Pitched. Easy enough, right?

However, with Daisuke on the mound, every other time out (or every time it's more than 74 degrees out with a relative humidity below 76% and there are exactly 157 people in the crowd named "Bob") he'll put up one of these "stinkers" that we're now accustomed to seeing. When he does pull this sh*t, he creates a new acronym for WHIP.

WHIP = Why the Hell Is (Daisuke) Pitching. 8 walks? Really? Against the Royals? Since the 1980's they are one of the least intimidating offensive teams in the entire MLB and Daisuke chose to walk these guys left and right.

There's nothing worse than a rally killer and while Daisuke was a big part of the rally starting last week, last night was just total BS. Sure it's annoying when Beckett has his ups and downs, and watching Lester struggle through April isn't the easiest thing to swallow, but watching Daisuke throw a game like that last night blows those other things out of the water. I don't really expect more out of him, but I'm pretty sure if you looked at a clip from him during his almost no-hitter and then one from last night, you wouldn't know which one was which. The guy hasn't shown an emotion since he got here so you almost figure he's OK with sucking so bad. I'm not OK with it. Me. The important guy. Take note.

Hello 3rd Place. Sorry, Just Passing Through

That's right, wassup 3rd place? You feel so much better than that dirty, nasty 4th place that I've been fooling around with for the last month. All those round edges in your number, it's like you and I were meant to be... well meant to be for right now. I don't want to lie to you and start this new relationship off on the wrong foot so I'm going to tell you right now: There's someone else. She's called 2nd place. Oh yes. The number 2. Not quite as many curves as you, 3, but the combo of curves and straight lines, it's really what I'm looking for right now. I know, 2 is taken right now and that's cool. I think you and I can have fun for a bit. See a few movies, beat up on the Royals, A's and O's and maybe the Indians, then if we're still together then we'll kind of re-evaluate where we are and go from there. How's that sound 3?

Remind me to never explain to my children about dating. I have a feeling it won't go so well.

I Pitch, Therefore, I AM

That is an EXACT quote from Jon Lester. Fine. Maybe it's not. But maybe if Lester would show his deep, intellectual side, along with his taint handing pitching/ass kicking side, then it would inspire some others on the team to show their philosophical sides a bit more. I for one would love to know Pedroia's take on the matter of being.

If I am, a laser show, then the laser show is really me. And THAT, is, what I am.

Or how about Wake's thoughts on consciousness?

Is my dreaming life a reality, or am I really dreaming? Does my knuckler float in the air, or is my knuckler the only thing not moving?

Or Youk's explanation of sex vs love?

I love it. Sex that is. Love the sh*t. But, I don't sex the love. You know what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying, Kevin. Exactly.

This Team is Hovering on Interesting

A few wins vs. The Phils with some stellar pitching and a dash of hitting and now a similar victory against another hot team and all of a sudden these guys might be on to something. This unheard of all around good play matches up perfectly with Ells and Cameron coming off the DL which is great because Bill Hall and Old Mac are starting to wear out their welcome in the OF. Besides Beckett and his balky back (oh alliteration my old friend) things are finally looking up for 4th place in the AL East.

Now you all know how we feel about jinxing here at The Cheese, and that blabbing above is some of the most jinx-tastic stuff I've put down here all year, but I don't think it's going to matter. That's right, there's a run coming and there's nothing my meaningless banter can do to hold these guys back now. It's time. We know this team has more to it than they've shown so far and God damnit I'm actually excited to see it.

Sh*t, I really do hope I didn't jinx that...

Game On

Celtics- Magic, Game 4. Get your brooms ready.

I leave you with Rondo's steal, J-Will being a D-bag, and KG being KG...