Professions for Penny

Last night the Sox let go of Brad Penny after he asked for his release. While we're sure he'll find work again in the MLB this year (likely the NL), it's not out of the question for him to pursue other career opportunities (plus, it gives a chance to make fun of him one last time)...

Cowboy - He's got the look down, though we're not sure if he's in any condition to be wrangling cattle. But who knows, maybe he's a real life Curly, a la City Slickers.

Weight-Watchers model - Only catch is that you have to reverse the before and after pictures for the commercials.

Full time drinking buddy and pal to Tommy LaSorda - I have no idea what these two would talk about, but they'd be the ultimate odd couple. It would certainly make for a great reality TV show or movie. Think Swingers meets Grumpy Old Men.

Motivational speaker - C'mon, who wouldn't want tips from a guy who's added Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku as notches to his bedpost.

Fattest jockey ever - You can see the fear in the horse's eyes. "Please don't sit on me, Brad."

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest participant - You know he'd give Kobyashi and Joey Chestnut a run for his money.