Talk about a sh*t eating grin

I give you Sir Marco Scutaro. I didn't bother to watch this actual interview where he looked directly at the camera and said "My sh*t? You must be kidding me. My sh*t, it does not stink. Roses my friend. The fresh aroma of roses." This is of course considering that Marco Scutaro is some smooth talking European romance artist that woos women with his sultry voice and quick witted quips about his travels through France with just a backpack and and a notebook. That's not how you picture Marco? My bad.

Another 'hey weather go eat it' post.

Hey weather, go eat it. Yet another storm and another power outrage for us lucky NH peeps. On top of all that baseball is still in that weird in-between stage where I want to be excited but watching guys play long toss and hit off a tee doesn't really get me all revved up like I want it to.

Also, I have a confession. I miss Manny. I know it's crazy but the stupid comments and empty threats that come out of nowhere, I miss that excitement. Come on Boof, give us some zaney comments that are worthy of your name. No? Fine, I'll go back to warming myself with a candle.

Dustin Pedroia: Not a Communist

From Boston.com:

Scene: The clubhouse at the player development complex.

Pedroia sees rookie shortstop Jose Iglesias across the aisle.

"Hey rookie," he says. "You're supposed to wear a jersey out there. I don't know how it is in Cuba with Fidel, but I'm running this joint."

Iglesias laughed.

"I'm serious," Pedroia said with a straight face before cracking up.

Its going to be a good summer.

I would hate being a baseball player

It would suck. Well the millions of dollars and fans and having the world at your command would be cool, but having to always be so politically correct when asked a question would kill me. For example: Mike Lowell answered some questions yesterday. You can bet one of those questions was something like:

Mike, how do you feel right now in your current position with the team?

And what does Lowell, who more or less has to hold his tongue, respond with?

...Yeah, it's not ideal.

Not ideal? Mr Lowell, you're a saint. Now what would I want to say in that position?

How do I feel? How the f*ck do you think I feel? I got traded, then un-traded because I had a frickin' hang nail on my thumb. Then I figure I'm going to be a Red Sox this year and these ass-hats sign a new 3B out of the blue. Now it's wait and see which teams wants to take a chance on the guy that the media has more less made out to have more medical problems than an episode of House. So how am I feeling? I'm feeling pretty god damn chipper right now thank you.

Lowell is too well balanced to say something like that, but remember, it's the quiet ones that make their statements by stabbing and shooting.

And the fantasy football world comes to a grinding halt

100% totally irrelevant in baseball terms, but LDT and Brian Westbrook were both released from their respective teams today. Holy sh*t. My 2002-2006 fantasy football teams are all collectively spinning in their graves right now. However my 2006 team is spinning in its sweet gold plated championship winning grave thanks to Mr. Westbrook. I'm still kind of in shock. Annnnd now I'm over it. Wow.

Pitcher does indeed have a big butt

And Barry Bonds' cameo in Rookie of the Year looks like a Barry Bonds skeleton compared to the monster that he is now. Spring training is officially under way and my baseball juices are flowing so it was only natural to watch Henry Rowengartner throw a few pieces of high stinky cheese past Bobby Bonilla. Best baseball movie? It's hard to say. Any baseball movie that doesn't feature Freddie Prinze Jr. throwing a whizzing fastball deserves to be in a "best movie" category. But I digress. Ah yes, baseball. Swoon.

*After watching that scene a few times, Barry Bonds just has a f*cking huge head. I always thought it was the juice, but it looks like he is going to tip over with that melon attached to his toothpick body. It's like the inverse Pamela Anderson effect or something.

The Angry Brothers

Ladies and Gentleman, the Cheese would like to introduce you to the newly reunited, Angry Brothers. These two are long lost brothers bound by their common outlandish and uncontrollable tempers. They're both from Texas, and these two were born to pitch together and compete for the angriest pitcher in baseball title. Lets take a look at their resumes:

The Incumbent - Josh Beckett:

We've seen it all from Josh. Tantrums. Tirades. Swearing. He's at his best when reporters ask him stupid questions. But we can't forget his well-documented knack for throwing at guys when he's bored. He's banged a numbers of hot chicks, so its still unclear what Josh is so angry about.

The Newcomer - John Lackey:

Slothey is best defined by his permanent angry jaw. Those gritting teeth. That psychotic stare from under his low brim. In general, he looks like a menacing dude even when he's being a gentle guy helping an old lady cross the street. He also likes to throw at guys for no reason, and one of his many hobbies includes storming off the mound.

We look forward to a summer of inexplicable outbursts and high blood pressure. Stay tuned for the many Mis-adventures of the Angry Brothers.