Sox Lose and Yankees Fans Are Still Jerks.

Today. Seattle.

In the first inning of The Yanks/M's game a ball was hit into RF foul territory and Ichiro brushed up next to that girl. Yes, the one freaking out. Here is the video if you really want to see how it went down. Anyways, besides that girl freaking out like she just won something (to be fair it looks like they gave her a free baseball and shirt AND she got to touch Ichiro), that dude on the right continues to give overweight moron Yankee fans around the country a good name as he bobs into the shot (right around :47 seconds), throws up 5 fingers which is a gang sign for "I'm A Stupid Fat Yankee Fan" and then goes back to his seat after he's ruined every one's meal at home. Thank you fatty.

Ok, back to your Saturday night.

Cleveland Rocks?

Drew Carey's take on Cleveland: It rocks.

Lebron's take: It has rhythm, but South Beach makes me dance.

The combination of a Sox off-night and Lebron taking over everything sports means chances are you watched Lebron tell Cleveland to F-off while making the move down to Miami. Personally, I like it. There are 80-something games in an NBA season and you can bet every single team out there is going to be gunning for this super Heat team.

Was it selfish to have a prime time show RIPE with ESPN commercials to announce his decision? Eh, probably. Will Lebron win a ring down in Miami. Eh, probably. Will there be riots in Cleveland. Eh, probably. Did Jordan leave the Bulls after getting beat by the Pistons 3 years in a row? Nope. He resolved to win, and did so. Even if Lebron and company win 2 titles, then bring in Chris Paul and win 4 more, it's not going to be Lebron's title. I'm just glad "the Decision" is over.

Also, I hate ESPN more than ever. Different post, different time.

LeBron going to New York

You heard it here first... LeBron to the Yankees. Our photographers were even able to sneak the photo of LeBron with the Yanks hat above. The Cheese can scoop breaking news with the best of them. We're the TMZ of the sports world. We're hearing Josh Beckett and Jessica Biel are dating. Scandalous! Stay tuned for more info.

I'm going on the DL

This weekend I had too much to drink, ate waaaay too many burgers, gorged myself on at least a dozen pieces of pie and then thought it would be a good idea to the same thing again on Sunday... and Monday. Hurrah for me. Rather than go into work and face the perils of sitting at a computer all day where I can't eat mass amounts of animal flesh and am not allowed to drink ice cold beer, I've decided to pull a Drew and put myself on the DL. Of course this means absolutely nothing because I am not an athlete in any sense of the word, so this is really just another stunt to make sure my wife really meant it when she said "... and I take you with or without the Educated Cheese." Which she really did say... or something to that extent. I just kept re-playing that wedding scene from Old School in my head and chuckling to myself during the ceremony.

To be quite honest, I didn't have much time to watch The Sox this weekend. Well, sure I had time, but while we had 4 kegs, a grill, a pool, smaller nieces and nephews to fetch us whatever we wanted at any time of the day, the one thing we don't have hooked up outside my uncle's house is a flat screen. I did see that they dropped one to Baltimore, bringing their season record against the worst team in baseball to 6-6. I know they're trotting out something that barely resembles a spring training split squad right now, but I honestly believe the O's are even worse than that and they keep losing to them. I'm not expecting 18-0 against them for the season, but right now maybe 9-3, or 8-4, for f*cksake just something about .500. The fact that The Sox are even in this "race" right now in the East is amazing and if things stay this close all year these stupid little pencil d*ck games against the O's are going to mean something. There, I have unleashed thy furry. Take me to the All-Star break... and give me another beer.

Eat, Drink and Be American

Happy 4th everyone! Everyone have a safe and happy 4th and if you're crazy enough to fight the crowds and the insane heat and be at Fenway for the game today, well let's see if you can't will the Sox into first place. Keep safe and God speed everyone!

The Anti-Jinx never fails.

Never. Ever. Yesterday I poke fun at JD and his lack of, well, everything, and last night the dude comes through with two dingers. You can thank us for lighting that fire under JD's namby-pamby ass by questioning his toughness/string of injuries/beliefs in dinosaurs. Wait, that's Carl Everett. I always get the two confused. Regardless, that whole game reeked of Drew though. The game itself was only 2 hours and 7 minutes, the quickest game in Boston since 2008 or something but it was definitely the quickest game I ever remember seeing. Yet another sign of Drew because judging by the emotions just constantly pouring out of the right fielder he would rather be home, so a quick game let's him get back to fishing or building model cars or whatever mind numbing activities it is that he does during his off time.

This is really how quick the game was and how bad the umps wanted to get to dinner: The 3rd string catcher, aka our starter of the next month Kevin Cash, even threw out a runner while Wake was pitching. Wake?!? That's some quick sh*t.

1/2 game people. This could be a very happy fourth of July weekend for Sox fans. Sh*t, I just jinxed it.

JD Drew Puts Himself on DL Early

In a move that Terry Francona is referring to as "heroic", JD Drew preemptively put himself on the 15 day disable list with, at this point, an undetermined injury. Drew had this to say:

The other day, after that sore neck thing, I felt like there might possibly be something else there. I'm not sure if there really is anything wrong with me, but there was such a good chance that there could be that I decided to put myself on the 15 day just to be safe.

"You know, we're in a crunch right now. We've got guys like Pedroia, Ellsbury and V-mart with broken bones, and that's easy to evaluate, but when JD does something like this and essentially saves the whole organization a ton of time, well it's really the player putting the team first." Tito was heard saying in the clubhouse after the game.

Dustin Pedroia, the team's spark plug who is on the DL with a broken bone in his foot, heard the news while out fielding grounders from his knees. "I'm out here f*cking taking grounders on my knees. JD is smart. He hasn't actually done anything baseball related in weeks. That's how you prevent stuff from happening."

The praise for JD and his forward thinking didn't stop from his coaches and teammates. "We were looking at last years stats again last night for the 830th time and we found another 6 obscure stats that JD led the team in last year." said GM Theo Epstein. "People don't realize what he does every day and the fact that he doesn't swing at every 7th pitch on Tuesdays and how that helps the rest of the team."

For now JD is available to come back to the team in the 2nd game after the All-Star break but the grumblings around the clubhouse are that his leg has been looking weak lately and may require an entirely different trip to the DL.