Wednesday, January 27, 2010

More McGwire

Ugh, another long drive to Pittsburgh. At least I got my tunes. Yeaaahaaa-ahyeaahhhaaahh, it's a party in the U-S-A. Hands up... crap, I'm almost out of gas. Guess I'll turn off here in ::squints:: Transylvannia, Pennsylvania? Whatever, I just hope they have full serve.

'Ello Meester Mark McGwire. 'Ow are you tonight?

I'm good captain cape. Fill'er up, I got some young impressionable minds I need to go flood with my extensive knowledge on how to stay healthy for extended periods of time when others can not.

Of course Meester Mark McGwire. I shall, as you say, "top eet off."

That's great slick. Quicker the better, like I said I'm in a hurry.

It's been a long time since we've had a customer around here, we're all so. hungry.

Yup, money makes a man hungry. Even a pale man like yourself. Yup. Hungry money alright.

That is eenough small talk Meester Mark McGwire, it is time.

Good, this thing is taking forever to fill... what the hell are you doing? Get off me you sicko.

Oh, I will Meester Mark McGwire, once I take a bite out of... what's this sh*t? Where's your neck. This looks like a cross between a pastrami sandwich and a bulldogs a**hole. Ugh, yuck, and it tastes like the bulldog and I don't think I even have taste buds. You have to be kidding, I can't find one good spot, there's flaps of skin cascading down from your jaw like a waterfall.

It's natural, happens to a lot of ex-home run stars.

Look, few years ago we got a hold of Bonds for a half hour and his head had enough blood in it to last my whole family for 2 months. This sh*t ain't right. Get the hell out of here.

Umm, did you at least put any gas in the car?

No, you jerkass. Go down the street, maybe the werewolf will sell you some although I doubt it because he's not going to want to have that neck flap stuck in his teeth either.

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