Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sox-Toon Player Profiles

5 year olds around the world , eat your hearts out. Steve created most of these in 45 seconds or less and the player profiles are just a little background info for everyone to get to know your favorite Sox player a little better. We'll update these as much as we can, but for now enjoy!

Big thanks to MS Paint which properly conveys our child-like drawing skills so well. And we apologize for their crude likeness to any Muppets or Where's Waldo characters.

Timmy Wakefield - The most stand-up Sox toon there is.


Eck-mouse - Eck is a mouse. It's the only logical explanation for Eck's fascination with Cheese. I have my own definition for the word 'logical'.


Orsillo-rhino - We had to assign an animal to D.O. as well. We went with a rhino. No idea why.



Kevin Youkilis - The Greek God of Stink.


Jason Bay - He's Canadian. yup. that's it. Go get me some maple syrup, Jason.


Josh Beckett - He's angry. alot. Remember kids, if you're angry too much, your face will stay that way.


Hideki Okajima - He's got his no-look Okie Dokie pitch. and we went all-out with the full body sketch to demonstrate it. 100% anatomically correct.


Clay Buchholz - Sort of looks like Beaker from the Muppets. or an ostrich. or both.



Don Orsillo - This drawing somehow even captures Don's wheezing laugh.


Daisuke Matsuzaka - Really this drawing should just be a white box, because he's not here. We don't know where he is. He's dead to us.


Fenway Frank - Captures everything we know and love about the mysterious meat from Yawkey Way.



JD Drew - Looks like a Far Side charater in that drawing. And really, JD Drew might as well be a Far Side character, because he sure as sh*t doesn't play like a $14-million baseball player.




Dennis Eckersley - The mascot of our website here at the Cheese. And aside from his amazing baseball vocabulary, we managed to portray him like some sort of Simpsons caveman. However, I think it captures the essence of his legendary moustache and feathered mullet.




Jacoby Ellsbury - We're from Boston. We like to use the word 'wicked' as often as possible. Even if its forced.






Matt Garza - Not a Sox player obviously, but he spits alot.



Heidi Watney - Yup, we shouldn't even try to draw hot women. way off.




Ice cream in a helmet - Remarkable work by Jonny. Don't tell me you don't want one right now. Ground Round, baby.




John Henry - kinda looks like Professor Frink from the Simpsons. Then again, neither of us can draw.



Jon Lester - An awesome dude.



Mike Lowell - He's only 35, but we made him look like an old fishing boat captain.



Jed Lowrie - We went the other way with Lowrie. Mainly because we know he's really 16.



Larry Lucchino - Grumpy old guy with alot of money. Thats all we know about Larry.





Nick Green - Yup. Nick Green.




David Ortiz - Even his cartoon version took steroids... as we drew him. And he didn't apologize for doing them.



Jonathan Papelbon - Making a spooky face.



Dustin Pedroia - Yup, that's your MVP right there. A digital Pedroia is about 12 pixels.






Brad Penny - Had we actually drawn Brad (not MS Paint), he would have eaten the pencil and paper.




Pesky the Pole - Phenomenal work by Jonny. Only a matter of time before this becomes an actual mascot over at Fenway. It just rudely shouts "FOUL" to everybody on his left.



Pretzel - So delicious. order one. now.




The Ted Williams dinger seat in the bleachers - I sat in it once. nothing special. I could totally hit a ball that far.


Jerry Remy - We miss ya, buddy. I'm sure he's air guitaring it up somewhere.



Rocco Baldelli - Go Italy!



John Smoltz - No more a Red Sock. He left town with a grumpy look on his face (probably because of his 8.00+ ERA), so we permanently captured it with this drawing. Grumpy old guy Smoltz.



Steve Garvey - my namesake. the former Dodger and Padre. 1974 NL MVP. and father of several illegitimate children. High five, Steve!




Jason Varitek - He is the captain of cartoons.




Theo Epstein - Theo just traded a couple of Sox toons for Tiny Toons and a toon to be named later.




Terry Francona - He refers to all the Sox toons as Toonies.



Red Sox Tickets - Oh yes, they talk alright.



A Fat Umpire - Yup, we got really bored.





Victor Martinez - Dude was meant to play here. And he will thereby inherit the name "Victah" here in Boston.




Wally the Green Monster - As equally as frightening in cartoon form as he is in human-size plush form.

9 comments:

bosox bikini girl said...

I just can't stop laughing.......

Educated Jon said...

My favorites are tied between Remy and The Pole.

Anonymous said...

No Youk??? Fail

Educated Steve said...

Wow. missed Youk. we had him in our arsenal too. We'll throw him up there.

Jon said...

Where DID Youk go? I know we had him there at one point. Update forthcoming.

Educated Steve said...

Youk is up there now. He was hibernating. Well, actually his beard was hibernating.

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