Monday, June 15, 2009

Fight Night at the Cheese

Since its an off night for the Sox, we've got to turn to the nerd box for our baseball fill.  Being the purveyor of top ten lists through the years, ESPN has a good one from their archives for us... top nine baseball fights (no clue why it starts at 9).  So without further ado, and since this site is powered by strong doses of 'nothing else better to do', away we go!... (Also, coincidently enough, I'm watching Rocky Balboa of FX right now.  good flick.)

#9- Dave Winfield charges the mound
If Dave Winfield came at me with bat in hand, I'd sh*t myself a house.

#8- Mo Vaughn to the rescue
At first you're going to get swept up in the nostalgia of seeing Mo Vaughn in his glory days.  But don't let that blind you to the sweet dodge Aaron Sele makes on George Bell's punch, which promptly sends him into the clumsy arms of Mo.

#7- Mike Sweeney flings hemlet
Sweeney played in KC for a long time.  And inevitably, when you're exposed to that much sh*tty baseball, you're bound to throw a helmet at someone.

#6- Did Chan Ho Park try to bicycle kick that guy?
Chan Ho Park is worse at pitching than he is at kicking.  but its close.

#5- Pedro plunks Gerald Williams
According to his reaction, that pitch helped Gerald rediscover his left hand.  Unfortunately, Gerald hated his left hand and he took it out on Pedro.

#4- Izzy goes crazy.
Legendary.  We can't underestimate what playing baseball in a sh*tty city like Pawtucket will do to the human psyche.  Kicking the catcher was awesome in itself, but challenging the entire team on the mound speaks even greater of Izzy's fighting prowess.

#3- Orioles-Yankees.  Remember when that matchup mattered?
If you've got a ball in your hand, and Tino Martinez is at the plate, you're throwing the ball at him.  Doesn't even matter if you don't want to... thats where the ball is going.  Because he's a d*uchebag, and the laws of physics state that baseballs gravitate towards d*uchebags.

#2- Campaneris throws bat
When someone throws a bat at you in retaliation, there's one of two instinctual reactions: 1) Duck, as Lagrow wisely did, or 2) Let it hit you, curl up in the fetal position, and cry until the mean bat-throwing man is escorted from the park in a paddy wagon.  That is, if you're still conscious.

#1- Nolan Ryan takes Robin Ventura to the woodshed
Nolan Ryan is my favorite pitcher of all-time.  Putting Ventura in a headlock would have been enough for me to give him that honor, but then he piled on historic numbers and being generally terrifying on the hill for over 25 years.  He only won one world series (with the '69 Mets), but reportedly thats because the world series trophy was afraid of him.

Now back to real fighting.  Rocky vs. Mason Dixon.

1 comment:

Jon said...

Nolan Ryan putting Ventura in a headlock still amazes me. He's charging at him then all of a sudden he's in a headlock. Awesome.