Thursday, August 19, 2010
John Lackey, I'm Quitting You
As far as I can remember I've always approved of the signing of Lackey. He was the best free agent pitcher on the market at the time, The Sox wanted to solidify their starting 5 for a few years and they had to make a splash during what turned out to be an otherwise eye gougingly boring off-season. They sold it well and they made it make sense to me, and maybe to you. Man did they fool me. What happened to that screaming angry son of a bitch that brought the pain and scared the taints right off opposing batters? I mean the weather here has been warm enough this year to remind you of So. Cal so that shouldn't be an issue. Do you miss your precious rally monkey? Jumping around like a God damn idiot flinging poop at the cameraman the second they pan off him. Is Wally not good enough for you? Is that what it is? He doesn't throw enough poop for ya, tough guy? Huh? I'm talking/slurring at you Lackey!?! Watching Mumbles Jr. take the hill lately is nearly as frustrating as watching Daisuke, except by some amazing feat Daisuke actually has a lower WHIP and ERA than sissy boy pictured above there. As per the usual, I turn my back on you, flailing Red Sox, star in hopes that this anti-jinx will light a fire under your sluggish ass and you will return to form when the team needs you.
I realize the negativity of it all. The Sox won so I should be in a good mood but of course Tampa and NY won too so no ground is gained and right now it's all about ground. One more against the Halo's tonight and I just hope Beckett shows up so I'm not writing another anti-jinx spot again tomorrow.