Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hollywood, listen up. Summer Catch 2!


That's right. Jessica Biel, Freddie "Zoom Noise" Prinze Jr and Matthew Lillard (not featured except on the poster) are back and this time they are joined by Micheal J Fox and Ray Liotta in this year's sure to be blockbuster, Summer Catch 2!

Last time we caught up with Ryan Dunne he had almost pitched a perfect game in the Cape Cod League and Dr. Cox offered him a contract and his dad (now played by Ray Liotta) insisted The Phillies throw in some more change if his boy was going to slum it through the minors. Well, Ry made it to the Bigs and non other than the immortal Ken Griffey Jr went bridge on him on his first pitch. That was it for Dunne's career in the majors. He tore his ACL, MCL and that Tommy John thing in his elbow on the very next pitch and he was never the same.

Dunne now works at the Dairy Queen on Rt. 28 in Yarmouth where his boss, Micheal J Fox, thinks Dunne should take another shot at the majors. Turns out that scooping ice cream for the last 4 summers froze Dunne's elbow ligaments back together to the point where he can now throw again (with the aid of the zoom noise). MJF takes Dunne under his wing and shows him the proper mechanics of how to throw with a partially frozen elbow. After a long off-season of dishing out Blizzards and throwing zooming fastballs against the dumpster behind Dairy Queen, Dunne goes to an open try out and makes it back into the minor system of, you guessed it, The Phillies.

Once Dunne flunked out of the majors the first time, his main squeeze Tennley (Yes, Jessica Biel's character had a name*) moved her way up through the Phillies organization (Refer to the low budget skin-flick Tennley Goes Yard with the Phils) and is currently dating Chase Utley. Burning with the desire to get Tennley back, and to find the secret behind Chase Utley's hair product use, Dunne makes his way back to the majors with lots of hard work and determination and proper steroid/ice cream cycling, and in the interest of anyone wanting to see this movie, Tennley comes back to Dunne and the rest of the movie is more or less Jessica Biel running around in the scantiliest of scantily clad-ness outfits while Chase Utley lights Dunne up during a spring training game.

Love. Baseball. Micheal J Fox. We couldn't make this stuff up people. We hope to see you at the theaters this summer for Summer Catch 2!

*Of the 1,000 times I've seen this movie I never knew Jessica Biel's character had a name and I had even less of a clue it was "Tennley".
Thank you IMDB.

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