I wish these games counted

But they don't. And I have to keep reminding myself of that because all of a sudden baseball is back and the Sox are winning and my mind doesn't realize it's only March so I want to get excited . But I shouldn't. I need to temper my expectations, to say the least. So I've put together a list of the best things that can come out of spring training this year:

• Sox carry some momentum into the regular season.
• John Lackey lends his voice to this awesome idea I have for "The Muppets: John Lackey Takes Manhattan"
• I sneak Jacoby Ellsbury into a local high school track event and put my monthly wages on "the new kid" winning by a mile.
• Kevin Youkilis listens to me and goes with the "Evil Villain" goatee to start the year.
• Mike Lowell gets fed up and punches someone, totally dismissing this "Stand Up Guy" aura he has floating around him, but then gets into Stand-up Comedy just to keep some of the "stand up" aura.
• Josh Beckett signs a new contract and includes his own "whiskey" clause which states when he's having a rough outing he's allowed to bring a flask to the mound with him to ease the nerves.

How many of those things will happen? Maybe the first one? Honestly though, I'll take any of them. I'll be crossing my fingers for the Lackey movie.