Tuesday, November 3, 2009


::Agent Smith has Neo in a headlock with a subway train approaching::

"You hear that, Mr.Anderson? That's the sound of inevitability."

Remember that scene from The Matrix? One of the better fight scenes.

Anyways, thats how I feel about the 2009 New York Yankees. Its inevitable. They'll win it all. Eventually. I'll wake up one of these mornings and the train will hit me (in the form of Sportscenter news while I sit on my couch with a bowl of Cheerios, not an actual train with the conductor yelling out "The Yankees won the World Series!" just before the train hits me, though that might be less painful). And unfortunately, I'm not The One, and neither are the Philadelphia Phillies, and I won't be able to miraculously come back after Agent Smith seemingly has me cornered. But I'll tell you what, they made two more lousy Matrix movies after that one, so might as well follow suit, and drag this World Series out as much as possible.

Meanwhile, while we're on stupid baseball-movie analogies, in retrospect, isn't Keanu Reeves' career alot like the Red Sox franchise for the past 20 years or so? Its a huge stretch by me here, but lets review:
  • Keanu had a monster cult hit ("Bill and Ted") = Sox in the mid-late 80's ('86 series).
  • Then Keanu had some random stuff ("Point Break") where he showed his face to confirm he was still alive = Sox mediocrity in the 90's, but win division in '95.
  • Keanu comes back full force with the Matrix and becomes a silver screen superstar and pop-culture icon = Sox finally make it back to the world series and win in '04 and '07, the darlings of the baseball world.
  • Then Keanu kind of fell off the face of the Earth and lost his luster, but thanks to his stardom from the Matrix he's still an 'A' list star everywhere he goes, but people aren't sure why = Sox '08 to now.
Nope, that's awful. I'm bitter. Save me from baseball hell. Come back soon, Red Sox.


BBG said...

"Speed" in '94 - close to '95.

Come on!! Get up & say it! The Phillies are the World Series Champions for 2 years in a row! We can make it happen!!

Educated Steve said...

oh yeah, 'Speed'. forgot about that one. No one really believed that Keanu could save people from a bus that can't stop though, so technically that movie didn't actually happen.

Jon said...

Don't forget Speed 2, with a boat. What are the chances the same cop gets involved with 2 runaway means of transportation? Crazy Keanu.

Educated Steve said...

Keanu wasn't in the second one. He's a bus specialist.

Jon said...

Same boat? Wait, no. The woman was the same I guess. Keanu made a cameo.