Monday, September 28, 2009

Consolation prizes

As Jonny stated, it was a horrible weekend for sure. Sox getting swept, Sox letting the Yanks hit the vaunted 100-win plateau, and of course, the Sox letting the Yanks take the East crown in front of their eyes in their $1 billion fancy-pants stadium. I mean the only thing that would have made it worse is if C.C. and Texiera sprinted across the diamond and sprayed champagne in the Sox dugout.

But here at the Cheese, we'd rather light a candle than curse your darkness. There were many positive things that we can take from this weekend. I mean the Sox have all but sealed the envelope on the Wild Card. And when Bud Selig and his cronies invented the Wild Card in 1994, they gave a playoff key to many teams that would otherwise be dusting off the golf clubs in October. And some of those teams have actually taken home the trophy, notably that little-known 2004 team. So as you sit here on a brisk Monday soaking in your tears from a disappointing weekend of baseball, I ask you to take a brief look at the glorious history of consolation prizes...

Michael Jordan - Drafted third to Sam Bowie and Hakeem Olajuwon in 1984. Bulls didn't complain.

Saved by the Bell - Sure Kelly was the most beautiful and popular, but if you can't get her, you take your chances with Lisa or Jessie.

Ms.Hooters Contest - Even if you don't get elected Ms.Hooters, apparently the 2nd place prize is free Hooters hot wings for life. So while that only leads to getting further away from the title as they pack on the hot wing weight, lets face it, who wouldn't want an unlimited supply of Hooters wings? I mean thats why everyone goes there, right?

Strongman Competition - We've talked about Magnus Ver Magnusson here before. But despite all his successes, he hasn't always pulled the cart of cement blocks the furthest. In fact, back in '98, he lost in the final event (throwing the giant boulder over a 40 foot wall) to Hans Brubaker. 2nd place for Magnusson. Luckily the consolation prize was a gift certificate to Big & Tall. Now he's the sharpest looking guy who can dead lift a Buick.


BBG said...

hee, hee....

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