Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Draft Profile: Reymond Fuentes

Ok, lets review what we know about the Red Sox 2009 #1 draft pick...
  • Name: Reymond Fuentes Jr.
  • Age: 18
  • Position: CF
  • School: Fernando Callejo High School, Puerto Rico
  • Height/ Weight: 6'0", 170 lbs.
  • Notable bloodlines: cousin of Carlos Beltran
  • Hobbies: before playing baseball, was part of an elite superhero clan that robbed from the poor and gave to the rich. Also, was the jockey for the 2009 Kentucky Derby winner.
  • Scouting report: Fuentes is a fundamentaly sound player who is known for his speed. In fact, while in high school, he would cheat on science tests by using his sheer speed to travel back in time to ask Einstein for the answers. Fuentes has also already sent harrassing phone calls to Jacoby Ellsbury that he's gunning for his job.

good kid. bright future.

also, a shout out to the illustrator of the indian on Reymond's baseball card. fine work.


Anonymous said...

Your "in-depth" scouting analysis is undone by an obvious, but nevertheless fatal flaw. There is no way there are high schools in Puerto Rico. By the end of 8th grade you're tracked into elite minor league baseball, tending a roadside shop with *many* caged chickens behind you or working the pineapple fields.

Jon said...

You're thinking of the Dominican. Puerto Rico still has *some* form of civil laws and responsibilities, as small as it may be, it does exist in some way.

Anonymous said...

Oh. Shit. I thought "The Dominican" was just a fictional place parents told their kids about in order to get them to try harder in school. You know, "better do yer homework or mom and pop will send ya to the Dominican." Sure enough, wiki seems to indicate that your story checks out....

You're like a pez dispenser of truth and facts.