Tim Lincecum used dark magic to win the Cy Young

On the right is the NL Cy Young winner, Tim Lincecum. On the left is the very same person and he is no-doubt reading a book about dark magic... or maybe it's a young Severus Snape from The Harry Potter movies. Whomever it may be, how can we really trust that Lincecum won the Cy Young legitimately now that this evidence has been exposed to the public? We have tests for all sorts of chemicals in professional athletes but the improper use of magic in the MLB has been sorely overlooked. What's next people? Bud Selig never going outside during the day and people finally finding out he's a vampire?!?!? You heard it here first...