We Can't Seem to Get This Trifecta Thing Right

Paul Pierce is an animal. I apologize for ignoring the Sox at the top here, but sweet Jebus the guy is just insane. No one is ever going to accuse him of looking pretty when he does his thing, but when he constantly does it right before those big zeros come up on the clock, he can look any damn way he wants.

Then you've got the Sox.

Ortiz swung the DH pendulum back in his direction for the time being with his first bridge shot of the year. Maybe this Lowell/Ortiz DH battle to the death will show the best of both of them when we need it. Of course it could also lead to some itching powder in jock straps and super glue in shampoo bottles, but those type of things are usually the norm in friendly competition like this. Add in Lester having his first ball game of the year and Bill Hall showing shades of Manny (in a good way) in left field, well you've got yourself one hell of a game. They've got that 4 straight loses to the Rays thing to contend with, but winning 3 of the next 4 is a good way back to the top.

Oh, and thank you Bruins for messing up our Boston Sports Trifecta. There are only so many times these things can happen in one year. According to my sports calendar, the B's and the C's would have to advance to the next round to give us another run at City perfection. I feel it happening this year and it feels good.

You go there! You, over there! Yes, right there!!

We (The Cheese) have been screaming for trades and action and movement all winter and now all of a sudden it's dropped on us like a Prince Fielder Bomb. First there were all these rumors ::gasp:: that Adrian ::double gasp:: Beltre ::ungasp:: was making his way to Boston. All which appear to be true now. Then today there are more rumors (rumor-gasm) that Casey Kotchman is heading to Seattle for a prospect to come back this way. So many moves, so little time. So much awesomeness.

Lately the theme around Yawkey Way has been "How to F*ck over Mike Lowell" and while the Beltre move follows the theme like a well written Back to the Future musical (if there isn't one there should be) the Kotchman ditch doesn't. Assuming they get a prospect that goes to the minors, Lowell becomes the back up 1B/3B/DH who could definitely see a fair share ABs assuming his hip/thumb/murderous rage doesn't get in the way. Usually you don't want to pay $12 Million for a utility/backup guy though, sooooo I'm guessing there's still something else in the works that may have us saying our final good-byes to Mikey.

The sleeping giant awakens.

Looks like Steve predicted it the other day. Looks like Adrian is coming to town. While I'm sure everyone would rather it be the Gonzalez variety, the Beltre variety could be quite the interesting signing too. Beltre fits in with the "defense first" mentality that Theo has been going after this off-season and there's been a lot of talk about Beltre's natural pull hitting style being a (pun intended) 'hit' here at Fenway.

Of course, this leaves Mike Lowell in limbo... again. It's almost to the point where it's just not funny anymore. Give the guy a break and let him be. Rumor has it (and I love rumors) that he could be going to the Mets in this deal here, but that makes very little sense so I don't actually love it. Bad rumor. I'm sorry rumor, I didn't mean it. You keep me alive.

Hot Stove + 12 inches of snow = Water

And water is boring as hell. Chances are Theo should be scheming up some kind of dastardly plan to move Mike Lowell to the Mariners in a Heathcliff Slocumb/Lowe+Varitek deal of yester year, but I doubt even the M's haven't heard the news about "the thumb".

So what to do now? Throw away the season and start to think about 2011? Even though that may be my mentality I'm hoping the front office takes a different look at things and pulls something else out of their collective butts. Moving Lowell is going to be a problem, as if it already wasn't. Short of giving him away for free I just don't know how this is going to get resolved before spring training and before he can prove his thumb is firmly attached to his hand, like a thumb should be.

While we wait on "the thumb" we can take pleasure in seeing that after Jason Bay turned down the Sox 4/$60 deal it looks like the only other team looking for his services at such a steep rate is the New York Mets, which happen to be a hopeless team with a bloated payroll and fancy new stadium but no chance of winning their division and that doesn't sit well with Bay. Let's see, 8 playoff spots total every year, maybe 2 or 3 of those teams are looking for an OF and can afford Bay or Holliday, so that doesn't leave too many suitors that meet Bays' standards to begin with and now he's elimated another one. Oh Jason, what could have been. Shame.

You don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell outta here.

So yesterday, in the middle of this crazy snow storm where in NH I see less snow than those south of me in MA, I got the pleasure of seeing that Mikey Lowell isn't going anywhere right now and I assumed that he would be back in Boston come spring training. Now Ken "Ruin your day" Rosenthal is saying there's a snowballs' chance in hell of him actually suiting up for the Sox ever again. Yes I realize Lowell is older and has injuries that are common to those in nursing homes, but he's always been a stand up guy here not to mention he was just riding in the Josh Beckett sidecar in the first place and then proved to be an integral part of the team. I guess Rosey does make a point in The Sox multiple attempts to move him and sign others to come in and take his place, but Mikey just won't go. Let's just hope if the time does come when he is shown the door that he shows the same class leaving as he did coming in and leaves one hell of a bag of flaming sh*t on Henrys' front door.

Mr. Lowell, how nice to see you again

Guys like Mike Lowell don't just give up. Even when you do everything you can to throw his ass out the door, guys like him don't just go because you said so. So it's really no surprise that fate has kept Mikey in Boston for the time being. If the bum hip wasn't enough to scare Texas off, apparently the messed up thumb was where they drew the line because Lowell is going under the knife as a Red Sox and chances are he'll come out that way too.

Overall, I can't say I'm too upset about it. I know they were dealing him to get younger and maybe even get another trade prospect down the line but there was something that the "fan" in me didn't care for. Of course the fan side of me usually doesn't win championships. Actually, I really never have anything to do with winning in any way at all, but I know that if I think the right things it usually helps. Right? Sure.

The longest trade in the history of the world!!!

I feel that title should be said with a menacing laugh while twirling a handlebar mustache and possibly rubbing your hands together. Half Mr. Burns, half Dick Dastardly. Too bad my photo shop skills are far below that level so you get Rollie Fingers. ANYWAYS, that Lowell trade that went down, it's still going down. They're checking Mike's thumb, Max's wrist and checking to make sure Max's real name is Maximiliano. Hot damn it is. I assume they don't need to check the $9M that will accompanying Mr. Lowell to Texas, but seeing how things are going they just might. Of course while body parts are being looked at the Sox are kind of in 3rd base flux right now. So now we play the waiting game... the waiting game sucks, let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Where you at?

Although winter has a chokehold on us here in the northeast, the meetings regarding the winter are over. What huge haul did the Sox come away with you ask? They pulled in a guy named Boof, re-aquired the ghost of Eric Gange and lost the MVP of the 2007 WS, but not his hefty salary. So 3B is vacant (although we haven't heard from Pedroia yet), as is LF unless they are considering Hermida as the full time guy, and now there is physical proof here in Boston that some effed up parent named their child "Boof". What Theo has up his sleeve next could be anyones guess. I'd like to think LF and 3B are weighing more heavily on his mind than which burrito place to eat at this afternoon, but the alure of Chipolte can be a strong one indeed. I know from first hand experience of burrito withdrawal. Anyways, I still trust the guy, I mean we've come up with about 10 different trade scenarios here at the Cheese and we don't even have any trained stat monkeys working for us, so I can only imagine with all the primate power Theo has right now at his command there's gotta be trades coming out some monkey a$$es down on Yawkey way. The biggest questions is whether we have to endure the Sox bashing over Christmas dinner when your aunt spouts off something stupid about "The Boston Sox" or will we ripping the Jason Bay Maple Syrup off the shelves to give out to everyone. Jason Bay Maple Syrup doesn't exist yet you say? I'm on it.

Happy Trails Mikey Lowell

Pending a physical and some nerd doing some number crunching, Mike Lowell is Texas bound. The Rangers parted ways with one of their dozen or so young stud prospect catchers, Max Ramirez. While I do like the name "Max" because I think it instills fear in others, (or wonder because you wonder "did your parents name you Max, like a dog?") I am definitely going to miss old man Lowell. I think if it was any injury besides the most typical old man injury, the hip, then it would not have been quite as bad, but when the guy with grey hair on your team sits out 40 games with a bad hip, well it just ain't your time any more brotha.

In regards to the team as a whole this can set up for a few big things:

1. Adrian Beltre at 3rd. With Lowell gone and there not being that huge free agent power OF bat they might need to get the power from Beltre at 3rd and by resigning Bay in left. It's definitely a step up from Youk at 3rd and Kotchman at first.
2. BIG THINGS - Move Youk to 3rd and bring in our dream scenario of Adrian Gonzalez or Miguel Cabrera or Prince Fielder. The movable pieces are there and with Lowell cleared out (salary smalarly) they can push Youk over to 3rd and let Adrian or Miggy or Big Fat Prince float around first base.

Things are in motion and it could mean more to come. I'm selfish, give me more. Gimme.

You know how I know...

... the Sox are in a tough f*cking spot? Because Youk is starting in left field tonight, Victah behind the plate, Kotchy at first and Lowell at 3rd. Coming soon, closer by committee. DSFBineafdsdgn. Sorry, I blacked out for a minute there, I shouldn't have said that.

This just in. Johnny Damon fills his car with steroids. If you're watching the pre-game, you know what I mean. Does Johnny though? Probably not.

Old Man River

That right there in fact is an x-ray of Mike Lowell's hip*. As you can see, it hurts. My theory on how the pain made its comeback is that with Lester just being on such a tear, kicking things in the nuts left and right, Mr. Lowell was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, dislodging all nuts and hips in the process. Between Lester toying with the O's hitters and Drew nearly going for the cycle, last night was a good ol beat down that the boys needed. Sure it was only 4-0, but the game always seemed about as close as I am to getting that date with Jessica Biel.

Also, check out this little blog do-hickey by Terence Moore about how the false notion that is Red Sox Nation will soon be coming to an end. Who is Terence Moore you ask? Well, according to his ending credits, "He is a frequent panelist on "Rome Is Burning"..." So judging from his previous working experience, he's a hack.

*That in fact is not an x-ray of Mike Lowell's hip. It may not even be a hip. I'm not a doctor so I can't confirm what it is