Ok, what's next?

The last 2 days were some top notch off-season hot stove action. I was all caught up in the Scoots rumors and he wasn't even the top guy on my radar for off-season moves. So now I ask, what's next? Doing a quick lineup check they're still short on an OF and they could probably use a backup plan in the starting pitching department seeing as relying on Wake for an entire year might not be the best move. There are still Tiger rumors out there that they want to ditch salary, and that Miguel Cabrera guy would be the guy to move if they wanted to trim the fat. I can only wish.

Another good call by the MLB Network with the '96 AS game last night. Ozzie Smith's last AS game, Cal Ripken in mid streak, Bob Costas calling a guy running onto the field a "moron" and one of my favorite guys growing up, Ellis Burks, tripled. He was on the Marlins then, but he'll always be a Sox guy.

Also, Nick Cage getting Jessica Biel in that movie Next? There's a better chance of Youk not eating red meat for 2 days straight. I've never seen the movie so I don't know if Nick Cage does actually get Jessica Biel but I bet Nick sneaked it in his contract that he gets to at least cop a cheap feel.

Attention V-Mart Shoppers

V-Mart hours have officially been extended through 2010. Our sister store, V-tek, has been temporarily shut down and may only open its doors on odd days when I'm hungover and don't feel like getting out of bed, but we're not even sure if he'll be around that much.

Also, stop by to see my buddy Timmy "I'm not that old" Wakefield for another two years!! That's right folks, here at V-mart we give you two years of Wake, 1 year of Victor and a whoooooooooole lot of savings. Was that Rich Harden that just walked by? I'll see you folks later, I have to go sell that man on a job in Boston.

The Cheese's top 10 Sox moments of 2009: Number 10

We'll go one by one. Maybe one a day, maybe 2, really depends on how much time we have to kill in a single day. I'll start off the list.

My number 10 moment from this last year is more of a span than a moment and that span is old man Wakefield going 10-3 between the start of the season and mid June. You never know what to expect from Wake but getting 10 wins out of 15 starts (two NDs) is one hell of a start to the season for a guy that has been pitching for 72 years in the MLB and has never thrown a pitch faster that his age. To top it off, Timmy then goes and gets selected for his first All-Star game ever in his 87 year career but Joe "Big Glasses" Maddon chooses to leave Wake on the bench the whole game while plenty of Sox fans argued there were many a times he could have plugged him in. The rest of the year for Wake kind of read like an old civil war diary; injuries, battles lost, never really making it back to full strength.

With Wake's open contract the way it is, there's a good chance we'll get to see the knuckler float around Fenway for another year. The bigger question is going to be more of who is going to catch him. Paging Pasta Pants Mirrabelli?!?!

THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER

Not even a rousing game of "10 degrees of Bacon" can heal the wounds of last night. At least now we know how Junky Tazawa will be used for the rest of the season. A butt whooping loss like that can only anger the troops to the point of where tonight has the potential to be a spark for the rest of the series. It also has the potential for Youk to go barreling into the White Sox dugout and smack Ozzie Guillen right in his pie-hole for some of his comments. While there was nothing that crazy said last night, at least not on the Ozzie-Meter, there's always the chance he gives us something cool to write about. So for tonight, I say a taint handing to the pale Sox and some good Ozzie quotes about how he hates Wake's knuckler and his team is a bunch of fairies.

Who is that guy?

Who makes the headlines this morning? Wake, age 74, coming off the DL to make sweet, sweet baseball love in the form of a discombobulating knuckler, or that Ortiz guy for an 04'ish walk-off that gets the most pessimistic Sox fan to step off the edge for a minute? For the Cheese, it's Pesky Pole (pictured above obviously). Thank you to the leprechauns that live underneath Fenway that pull that thing back and forth as needed. Over the years the Sox have lived and died by you and last night you shined again. Also, thank you for not calling last night's ball "foul" like you are above. It's tough to get pictures of "The Pole", it's kind of like a vampire (or Jason Bay) or whatever that thing is that doesn't appear when you take pictures of it so that artist rendering is THE closest you'll ever come to seeing "The Pole".

The funny thing about turning points is you can't point them out (or jinx them) til you're far enough away to properly look back at them. I'm not saying this was one, because I can't really, but to see Wake back and an Ortiz walk-off (which has been 2 years in the making now) and be in the middle of a home stand and to know those friggin kids in the neighborhood go back to school today so they'll stop leaving flaming bags of dog sh*t on my door step every hour, well it feels alright. Now if the NY d-bags would drop a few games I'd start sleeping a lot better.

It ain't Papi and Manny

But V-mart and Jay-Bay are fine by me. Watching the game last night I heard V-Mart was given an off day but would be available for pinch hitting. That's more or less a nice way of saying to Tek "We'll give you a few ABs. If you scorch em, maybe we'll let you go the whole game, but I wouldn't count on it." And that's what happened. Then Mr. Bay let one ride over that big green wall thing in left and two countries rejoiced at once. At least I assume Canada rejoices when he goes bridge. However people, there is bigger news on the Sox front right now and I ain't talkin' Wagner.

Tonight, my friend and yours, Timmy Wake comes back from his annual fishing trip/DL stint. Remember him? The old guy that purposely throws mid 70's and gets away with it. He's been out over a month and left with that 11-3 record that was best in the majors at the time. This could be a whole new Wake though because now rather than having Pasta Pants (Douggie) or Georgey catching for him and dragging down the lineup, Tito gets to put V-mart in there who in just about everyone's opinion is the starting catcher you want in there every night right now. So Wake brings us a W tonight and maybe somehow both Texas and NY lose so the Sox gain ground in both the WC and the division. It's happened before.

Joe Maddon can pound sand

Pound away Joe. For a second I wanted to find a picture of Wake and put it up there but then I got emotional so I'm going sans picture for this one. Everyone just imagine Timmy up above this babble, smiling at us all like he usually does. His neck is probably bright red, goatee workin', knuckler just floating around like a drunk fly. I'd like to say this can only work as motivation for Timmy, but I don't see the guy as an "avenge my death" type of guy. I'm guessing he'll come out after the break and do his job like he has for 30 some odd years and when asked about not getting into the game he'll probably give a little smile and say "It was an honor just to be there and I can understand where Joe was coming from. We won the game and for a team like ours that's the important part." Even in my fake words Timmy has some real class.

Honestly though, the nerd glasses and the stupid mohawk, eff you Maddon. You are now destined to be the guy who manages the team that could never quite put it together. '08 will be your doom because your rag tag bunch of 24 year olds will never mesh like that again. See you in baseball purgatory, pal.

See you in Saint Louis

Nice way to send off Wake with his 11th of the year. The knuckla was knucklin' like crazy last night, just ask OC when he looked like, in the words of Stewart Scott, "straight up playin' a fool yo."in the 5th when he went down swinging. Speaking of fog-eye Scott, has anyone else tired of Sportscenter like I have? Granted I've probably watched some version of SC or ESPN News at least once a day for the last 10-12 years, but lately it's more catch phrases than it is sports coverage. It's to the point where I won't watch it if there are certain hosts. I'd love to be able to just watch the news in the AM with my Cheerios and OJ but the only thing worse than a Stewart Scott "boo-ya" is catching 5 minutes of the news and feeling like you should line up on the edge of the Tobin because of all the horrible things going on around the world that they need to tell you about 10 minutes after you wake up. Note to the News, the 6-7AM version should try and be a little more upbeat so we all leave our houses without the perpetual dark cloud hanging over all our heads. Having Heidi host the news wouldn't be a bad idea either. I'm not going to suggest outfits, but I know my mornings start well when I think I'm at the beach. Just a thought news people. Just a thought.

Timmay

That's right Timmy, pamper yourself buddy cus you've started more games for the Sox more than any other pitcher. Ever. In the history of the world. Of course yesterday didn't yield him the win that would have made him an even more attractive option as an All-Star, but we won't know the results til a little later. Let's just hope Joe Maddon remembers all that underdog BS from last year and puts Timmy in his rightful place for the first time.

These 3 series before the AS break are supposed to be a Sox feeding frenzy so hopefully the boys get jiggy with it over the next few days and go into the Classic on a fancy little winning streak.

Electrified Fooling Machine

Today the Braves couldn't hit Wake's knuckler with an electrified knuckler hitting machine. In the sweaty, sweaty south Wake had enough dollar bills to keep that thing dancing all day long. As for offense, well, sometimes all you need is one and that's what they got. So there. Wake's never made the All-Star team but 10 wins this year ties him for the Major League lead. His ERA is never going to be anything to be jealous of but the guy has done everything ever asked of him over his career and while he seems ageless this may be the year we need to get him in there.